The Shadow Self- Why You Need To Embrace It To Be Happy

The shadow self is what causes our suffering.

When we deny that our shadow self exists, it goes to extreme measures to bring our attention to the parts of us that long to be seen and loved.

Instead of embracing these parts of ourselves we attempt to outrun them, but we cannot outrun ourselves. Everywhere we go, there we are.

So, we overwork, over drink, over think, judge, deny and avoid the darkness, only to find ourselves riddled with confusion and suffering.

The only way through this is by embracing the shadow, so that we can become what we deeply desire to be.

We cannot mend and heal our wounds by pretending they don’t exist. We must bring them into the light and examine them.

What is the shadow self, according to psychology?

The shadow self is the part of us that we have hidden from the world.

At some point, usually in childhood, we experience an emotion of guilt, shame, betrayal or some other negative feeling we did not want to feel. We deal with this experience by hiding the part of ourselves that we believed caused the feeling, in effort to avoid feeling it again.

We go to great lengths to avoid negativity and our true feelings.

So many of my problems could had been solved and avoided if I had just looked at my darkness.

You see those who have done shadow work know something others do not.

They know “your secrets make you sick.”  They know secrets make the world sick.

We judge, condemn and bully others, knowing we are not perfect ourselves.

So much is spent on clothes, makeup, plastic surgery trying to feel loved and accepted.

 Partying and ‘going out’ have become our sole purpose and measures of worth.

Toxic and dissatisfying relationships are accepted because we believe them to be better than figuring out how to love and accept ourselves.

These adaptations are how the shadow rears its ugly head when we try to hide it. These fragments of our shadows escaping, keep us playing small, keep us controlled and enslave us to needless suffering.

We all have wounds and our egos, our lovely, confused egos, have done their absolute best to try and protect us from what we have tried to deny about ourselves. But it is not the egos job to heal the shadow. It is ours.

 READ: HOW THE EGO CAUSES PROBLEMS FOR YOU AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT HERE!!!

However, if we’re brave enough to venture into the unknown, and with the help of our higher selves, we can begin to change our suffering into something more meaningful.

What is the difference between the ego, the shadow and the higher self?

The ego is our sense of self, more so what we believe ourselves to be. The shadow self is the part of ourselves that we are, but that the ego has unidentified with in order to protect its perceived sense of self.

The shadow is made up of once conscious parts of ourselves. Throughout our lives, as we experienced undesirable emotions, we sent these traits that we believed caused these emotions, to the shadow.

You see, as the ego compared its expectations of what it wants to be up to the reality of who it may actually be, it led us into a trap. Fooling us into believing it was safer to hide parts of ourselves that didn’t fit the egos reality, rather than accept them as parts of us.

So, we continued to send parts of us to the shadow. Denying more and more of ourselves. Morphing us into what we think is likable, attractive, love, acceptance and success. We are suffering because we are not ourselves anymore. We didn’t really get rid of anything we merely sent it away to evolve, darken and come back.

But wait there’s a twist.

The ego protects the shadow self by projecting qualities of what we have hidden about ourselves onto others. It does this by refusing and avoiding ownership for these qualities in ourselves.

 A sort of distraction mechanism to protect it’s made up reality from the truth of what we are hiding beneath the surface of our subconscious.

By becoming self-aware of these projections, we can begin to call on the higher self to reclaim our shadows.

 Thereby reclaiming our unique and powerful selves that allow us to be exactly who we are meant to be in this life; unafraid, joyful, content, unashamed and constantly co-creating with the universe the lives we truly want to live.

How to find the shadow and why shadow work is important.

It can be found when we feel judgement, resentment, hatred, disgust or condemnation towards others.

We spend most of our lives denying the parts of us that we believe will not be accepted by others, only to become miserable and feel a sense of loss because we have hidden a beautiful part of ourselves that makes us feel whole. A part of us that we once valued and loved.

The shadow is just as much a part of ourselves as any other quality. Whether it be perceived as good or bad, it does not matter to our soul and for our purpose. These hidden qualities are us.

Our shadow can be seen in those we judge the most, in the politician whose actions disgusts us or the celebrity we condemn the easiest.

Once we realize that the things we can’t stand in others is a distortion of what we have hidden within ourselves, we begin to see that our shadow is all that we try to hide from those we love and all that we don’t want other people to find out about us.

When unchecked and denied our shadows begin to control us.

From what race or class of people we will approve of or relate to, whether we will be religious or an atheist, what party we will vote with, and which causes we will support and which we will ignore.

It tells us how much money we are entitled to earn and determines whether we spend it wisely or waste it.

It is our shadow, our hidden self, that dictates how much success we’re entitled to create or how much failure we’re doomed to experience.

 The shadow determines the degree of care or neglect we give our body, the amount of extra weight we carry around our belly, and the level of pleasure we allow ourselves to feel, give, and receive.

Our shadow is something we should embrace if we want to ease the suffering within ourselves and the world.

Final note:

The fastest way to fix your limiting beliefs and your negative patterns keeping you in this cycle is through life coaching.

It is pretty difficult to identify your own limiting beliefs.

This why even life coaches, like my self, have life coaches.

In my 1:1 coaching program I go far beyond identifying and fixing limiting beliefs.

I intuitively guide you to the best plan of action given your personality and tendencies to succeed.

Learn more about about my 1:1 coaching program here!

Shadow Work- A Beginners Guide To The Shadow Self