Hangover Anxiety- How To Manage ‘Hangxiety’
Hangover anxiety or ‘hangxiety’ is when you wake up in the morning after a night of overdrinking with a sense of doom and regret.
You drank too much, feel like a bus hit you and are desperately trying to remember if you did anything terrible the day before.
More often then not the question isn’t whether you will drink again.
The real question is what causes you to go back to drinking time and time again when you know its not good for you?
This post will help you to see the cycle of your own drinking, as well as help you design a plan to improve hangover anxiety.
There are several types of drinkers:
- Social
- Binge
- Alcoholic
- Non-drinker
- Light drinker
- Moderate drinker
I have tried them all.
So this article won’t be written to convince you to quit drinking, but rather get in control of your relationship with alcohol.
If I am being 100% honest, I would prefer to be drunk all the time.
Being drunk feels amazing.
The problem isn’t that drinking sucks.
Drinking is awesome!
The problem is the aftermath of drinking.
Why you keep drinking
Drinking promises you an altered state.
You know all you must do to feel different is pour, sip, and repeat to shift whatever state you are in.
Maybe it’s stress, boredom, confusion or connection.
All these unwanted states can easily be altered with alcohol (hopefully for the better).
Other than your thinking, not much effort goes into drinking.
Within minutes you can begin feeling different.
The high you receive from drinking is made possible thanks to your brain.
Your brain and alcohol
Regardless of whether or not you identify as an addict, if you’ve experienced alcohol, your brain is addicted and here’s why…
Alcohol gives you instant gratification in the form of a dopamine rush.
Dopamine is a chemical in your brain responsible for making you feel good.
Alcohol causes a chemical reaction in your body that floods you with dopamine.
This may sound amazing, but flooding your body with high levels of dopamine actually results in a deficit.
Thus resulting in an imbalance later on.
Meaning you won’t have enough dopamine the next day to regulate yourself properly.
This leads to feelings of anxiety and depression.
This dopamine deficit or imbalance is what causes ‘hangxiety’.
You are not aware of it, but your brain has learned that it can receive a big hit of dopamine when you drink.
There are plenty of other ways to get a dopamine rush naturally, but none are as fast as alcohol or drugs.
Your brain is very efficient.
It likes shortcuts and if you allow it to, it will create shortcuts all over the place that are not in your best interest long term.
Breaking the pattern of ‘hangxiety’
You need to understand your part and your brains part in your drinking pattern if you want to manage your drinking better.
Your brain memorizes the process and patterns leading up to what made you feel good.
It’s up to you to interrupt your brains pattern with your awareness and intentions.
When you received a big hit of dopamine from drinking your brain realized this event was significant and prioritized repeating it as much as possible.
In the moments leading up to you drinking you will experience thoughts that make you a) want to drink and b) justify your ‘need’ to drink.
These thoughts are a production from your brain to get you to take action and drink.
The thoughts you experience leading up to drinking are where you will interrupt your brain patterns.
With some awareness you can interrupt your brain patterns and override the patterns with you intentions.
Whether you want to quit drinking or just cut back, the key is to interrupt your brain patterns with new intentions and natural ways to get hits of dopamine instead.
Your brain thinks it’s doing something right by prompting you to drink more because it knows that this pattern (pour, sip, repeat) will produce more feel-good chemicals for you to enjoy.
What your brain doesn’t realize is that it received a dopamine hit from an artificial source, alcohol.
When you receive pleasure (aka a dopamine hit) from an artificial source, the long-term effects are always negative.
Your brain can’t tell the difference between whether this dopamine was produced naturally or artificially.
Interrupting your brain when it is producing thoughts that are a) trying to get you to drink or b) justifying drinking will help you break your drinking patterns.
If quitting drinking seems scary or uncertain you have to read the book Sober Lush!
It shows you an entire new world of hedonistic and luxurious activities you can do to feel lush as fuck without alcohol.
I love opening this book for inspiration or ideas to motivate me to not drink.
However, I understand you may not want to give up alcohol and just want to manage your drinking better, so let’s get started!!
Self trust and drinking
When creating a drinking plan in the next section I want you to take this philosophy with you.
It’s ok to drink and have fun, but it’s important to stay in integrity with who you are to avoid unnecessary anxiety and guilt.
What causes a lot of hangover anxiety, depression and guilt is that you have no idea who that person was when you drank too much.
It’s like a stranger taking over your body and doing things that are out of characteristic for you.
You depersonalize and lose trust in yourself when you act out of integrity with yourself.
You realize that person was you, but you weren’t in control.
Its important that you are the one creating your reality and not alcohol.
Like all trust, self-trust is earned by following through on the promises you make, but to yourself.
Remember that the plan you will be creating in the next section is who you are and who you want to be.
Stay committed to this person.
9 ways to manage your drinking and avoid hangxiety
#1 Plan drinking ahead of time
It doesn’t matter what kind of drinker you are.
Maybe you like getting a buzz every evening, once a year or just when you are celebrating.
Regardless, make sure to schedule all your drinking ahead of time.
You will be tempted to deviate from your drinking plan and drink on a whim.
This is normal, but the drinking plan you created in you right mind is the only one that will benefit your future self and save you from the guilt and anxiety that unplanned drinking creates.
#2 Plan how much
Decide how long and how many drinks you want to have.
To do this you’ll want to think about what kind of drinker you are…
• Social
• Binge
• Alcoholic
• Non-drinkers
• Light drinkers
Meet yourself exactly where you are.
If you attempt to make a big change too fast you can set yourself up to fail.
Additionally, you don’t want to cut back on drinking and still find yourself craving and thinking about it non-stop.
I find the best approach when planning how much to drink is to meet yourself where you are currently and not drink anymore then that amount.
Whatever number of drinks your are comfortable with is ok.
Even if 10 is your sweet spot that’s ok for now.
Practice having self control at this amount and gradually cut back.
Even if nothing changes you will be creating feelings of empowerment when you stick to your plan.
As opposed to failure or guilt.
When you overdrink or drink more than you planned guilt, shame and anxiety will set in.
The slightest mistake or uncharacteristic behavior can leave you beating yourself up.
Planning your drinking helps you take your power back and mitigate doing things that are out of integrity for you.
#3 Include your health in your drinking plan.
Check your medications and be sure they don’t say, ‘do not consume alcohol while taking this medication’.
Drinking alcohol with health conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure or depression can be extremely dangerous.
Mental health problems can worsen after drinking.
Medications can negatively interact with alcohol.
Your body and/or medications are working hard to counteract these health issues.
Be sure to take the state of your health and the medications you are on into account when designing a drinking plan.
#4 Plan to eat before you drink.
Eating before drinking is a known trick when you are trying to manage your drinking because eating food:
- Takes the pressure off drinking.
- Is something to connect over that’s not alcohol.
- Slows down alcohol absorption in your intestines, helping you pace yourself.
- Gives you less time to drink afterwards.
#5 Plan how you want to feel
It’s incredibly easy to justify overdrinking when you aren’t in your right mind.
Decide the emotional state you want to be in when drinking.
Alcohol intensifies your feelings.
Your emotions will feel bigger and have more power over you once you get drunk.
The likelihood of doing something you regret increase the more drunk and intense your feelings are.
Thus, causing more ‘hangxiety’ the next day.
The chances of you drinking more and having an awful night increase when you are going through something tough.
As a life coach I suggest you only drink when life is neutral or great.
Never drink to numb or escape.
It’s so much better to work through tough emotions than to ignore them.
Emotions only get bigger and more intense when you numb or ignore them.
#6 Schedule fun instead of drinking
If you crave experiencing life to the fullest, pushing boundaries and being spontaneous there are other ways to do get a dopamine rush that don’t involve getting drunk.
Think of how much more exhilarating it would be to do something sober that you would only do drunk.
Challenge yourself to plan an activity like talking to guys, karaoke, street yoga or being goofy without alcohol.
Think of the confidence boost and natural dopamine hit you’ll receive doing these things and remembering them!
There is nothing exciting or fun about drinking.
The fun part is what you do.
Shift the focus to doing memorable things and having fun!
#7 Plan something to look forward to.
Leaving at the time you scheduled your drinking to end is a lot easier to do when you have something to look forward to after.
A bubble bath, detox yoga, tv show you love or maybe just a good old fashion orgasm.
My favorite is a foot massage.
Nothing feels better than a foot massage after walking around and socializing for hours.
This foot massager will blow your mind if you like a lot of pressure in all the right places.
It’s only $89!!! You can easily spend this on a night out drinking or come back home and treat yourself!
#8 Drink a CBD beverage.
CBD is a non-psychoactive way to relax and have a ‘cocktail’ with your friends.
There are tinctures, canned drinks, and powders of CBD options to swap out for alcohol.
CBD feels nothing like being high.
CBD improves your emotional state without altering your physical or mental state like alcohol and drugs do.
You just feel lighter.
Recess is my favorite CBD brand because their drinks are premade with adaptogens and L-theanine.
They also have calming non-CBD drinks if CBD is not your thing.
Not to mention the flavors make you feel like you are sipping on divine wellness.
They’re so yummy!
A recess is fun, flirty alternative to alcohol that replenishes you.
Click here to check out their products!!!!!!!!!!
Pssssst!!!
I get 15% off when I buy from Recess with the code ALEXISOFF15.
You can use it too!!!
#9 Plan to be yourself
Don’t become the ‘sober’ friend once you stop drinking.
How much you do or don’t drink is a personal choice.
There is no one size fits all.
You are not automatically more evolved, enlightened, or mature because you are cutting back or quitting alcohol.
Try to avoid getting preachy or prudey.
Quitting drinking or cutting back doesn’t need to mean a personality change.
Don’t make your friends feel bad about themselves just because you want to change your relationship with alcohol.
It’s impossible to know what others should or shouldn’t do and what’s best for them.
We are all on this planet having a separate journey and different experiences.
You don’t have to assume the role of designated driver or group mom either.
Your only responsibility is to love and accept yourself, others, and reality.
Work on getting comfortable with talking about taboo or embarrassing subjects without alcohol.
Get to a place where you don’t need alcohol to be honest and vulnerable.
Do cartwheels in the street and handstands against restaurant windows.
Talk in silly accents and hug your friends.
You don’t have to be smashed to step outside your comfort zone and make memorable nights.
Sobriety doesn’t make you better than others and continuing to drink doesn’t make you a hot mess or a loser.
RESOURCES:
- How to break any bad habit (blog)
- Failing forward- overcoming setbacks (blog)
- Free anxiety relief guide (training)
Final thoughts:
When you plan your drinking ahead of time and stick to the plan you can mitigate some of the adverse side effects of drinking, like ‘hangxiety.’
The reality is you are never craving alcohol itself.
You crave the emotion or experience alcohol can provide.
Maybe its connection, confidence, or spontaneity.
I encourage you to take a moment for yourself before you pour your next drink.
Ask yourself ‘what am I feeling and thinking that is not serving me and I am trying to escape’?
Allow whatever comes up to become a part of you and make peace with it.
If afterwards you still want the drink, then do it!
Giving yourself this opportunity will help you to become more self compassionate and understanding towards yourself thus alleviating stress.
I promise you will feel lighter and relieved by just doing this one exercise.
Drinking doesn’t have to be filled with regret, guilt and anxiety.
A little planning and some self compassion can do wonders for hangxiety.
If you can’t break the drinking and shaming cycle between you and alcohol on your own I guarantee you can do it with a life coach!
