Self doubt: How to up level your life
Self doubt can arise when things are going bad of course, but it can also arise when things are going great.
This blog post will solve the problem of self doubt brought on by a lack of confidence and low self esteem.
What exactly is self doubt??
Self doubt is the process of reacting to a circumstance with a negative thought about your abilities or worth.
This thought causes a feeling that creates a reaction, which produces a result in your life.
Self doubt can arise in reaction to anything, but this post is specifically for the self doubt that arises when you enter a new phase in your life (an up level).
Imagine you suddenly you get what you have asked for.
All that hoping, dreaming and hard work has finally paid off!
At first you feel relief.
It’s like finally you’ve arrived, but then….
Fear sets in and you totally freak out.
This is what happens when you enter a new phase in your life without up leveling your thoughts and feelings too.
How to overcome the underlying cause of self doubt.
You might be wondering, ‘how can leveling up be stressful?’
After the initial celebratory phase has concluded you may realize that you now need to learn new skills and meet new demands or expectations.
Self doubt makes it more difficult to follow through and take action.
You cannot doubt yourself and take action at the same time.
Self doubt doesn’t go away on its own.
Instead, what it does is keep you from taking action.
It will stop you from taking necessary risks because you dont belive in yourself.
This belief severely impacts self trust and feeling confident to take action.
Confidence and self trust need to be practiced ahead of a new opportunity or goal, or you will self sabotage.
When you are experiencing self doubt you are saying I don’t trust myself.
You may be thinking to yourself:
- I don’t have what it takes
- I will fail
- Someone else could do a better job
- I don’t know what the next best step is
- Did I make the right choice
- Was a mistake made
- Someone will find out the truth about me
All of these thoughts are just fear of the unknown.
Fear of the unknown is a choice your brain makes for you when you don’t give your brain directions or a decision.
It’s basically the brains way of procrastinating and trying to keep you safe from the outcome of making the ‘wrong’ decision.
Rest assured that the only wrong decision you can make is doing nothing.
Doing nothing doesn’t keep you safe, it keeps you stuck.
If you really wanted to you could provide answers to your worries and fears.
For instance ‘what if I fail?’, the answer to this could be ‘what if I don’t,’ or ‘I’ll learn as I go.’
What self doubt is and isn’t
Up leveling your life and overcoming self doubt are just a matter of making decisions.
When you can’t make a decision your brain produces ‘I don’t know’ by default.
This is to keep you from doing something that could harm you.
When you demonstrate to your brain that you can’t make a decision, your brain will think it is in danger.
This is when fear, stress and anxiety are felt.
Even when you refuse to make a decision your brain will make one for you.
It will choose to repeat the past and the past’s results.
If you want to up level then, you have to make the decision to make a decision.
Why you aren’t taking action
‘I don’t know’ is a reflex from your brain when you don’t make a decsion.
It produces this response to keep you from trying something new and potentially dangerous.
Even if the circumstance is not dangerous at all.
Whether you get a promotion, change jobs, start a business, start a family or a get into a relationship, you will naturally gravitate towards ‘I don’t know’ at first.
Self doubt is a signal that you need to make a decision about your future and the next best steps.
It doesn’t matter how big or small the decision is just make one and you will move out of self doubt and into self trust.
Your brain and self doubt.
Self doubt actually has nothing to do with your abilities, worthiness or confidence.
Self doubt is actually just the result of you not making a decision.
When you don’t know what to do your brain freaks out and responds with ‘I don’t know’
This is because your brain interprets you not making a decision as you being in danger.
Your brain is only doing its job.
The problem is you aren’t…
Your job is to make decisions.
Your brain’s job is to keep you alive by repeating ‘safe’ patterns.
It doesn’t matter if these patterns are totally unrelated to survival or not.
If you were to let your brain run on default (survival) mode it would forever just repeat the patterns in the past and resist learning anything new.
The brain is basically set up to repeat the past over and over.
This is why making a decision and your intentions are so powerful.
Change doesn’t come from your brain, it comes from your intentions.
And your intentions are made clear through the decisions you make.
Your intentions drive your decisions and your decisions interrupt your brains auto response of repeating the past.
Interrupting your brain to conquer self doubt
You can override your brains repetitive patterns by setting a new goal or intention to get your desired result.
The reality is that you will never be ready to up level our life.
If you wait until you are ready to change your life then you will never change you life.
You have to get comfortable with starting before you are ready.
That’s the point of an up level.
You throw yourself into something new so you can learn, adapt, change and create better results.
I must warn you though…
Your brain is going to want to keep doing the same thing and repeating patterns because it believes its safe this way.
That’s why it is so important for you to make a decision and avoid ‘ I don’t know’ when you’re trying to change your life.
Resistance, doubt and fear are a natural part of an up level, but they don’t really belong to you.
They belong to your brain.
As long as you know self doubt is just a result of you not making a decision and your brain defaulting to survival mode, then you can override the fear and make a decision about your future anyways.
When you are on the precipice of change fear always creeps in.
You have the choice to understand this fear as result of you not making a decision, or say ‘ I don’t know’ and miss out on improving your life.
Change is scary and uncomfortable that’s why many choose to avoid it.
The good news is that these initial scary feelings and self doubt do not last.
Making a decision will kill self doubt
As soon as you decide to push through the fear and commit to a decision, you prove to your brain that you are in control, which Ironically makes your brain feel safer.
You also prove to yourself that you are capable of doing scary things and figuring out whatever comes your way.
You cant level up and become comfortable in a new phase in your life without being a beginner, failing and trying new things.
The only thing you really need to up level your life is faith and trust in yourself that you can and will figure it out.
You aren’t suppose to be a pro when you enter a new phase in life, you just need to be willing to make a decision and then another one and another one.
Self-doubt can feel like an attack from something outside of you, but really it’s just the product of a random thought you make up in your head and choose to believe.
Your thoughts are powerful, be sure to create ones that push you towards your goals.
Your brain is always automatically responding and if you never give it instructions it will always respond from fear.
If you don’t like feeling self doubt then its up to you to make a decision and take a step forward.
If you consciously assess the situation and you are not in danger then you have the ability to override your brains fear (survival) response and input something better by making a good decision about your future.
You can come up with a list of thoughts to think about your circumstance that don’t involve doubting yourself.
My favorite overcoming self doubt thoughts are:
- Every expert was once a beginner
- Change is good it brings new results.
- Feel the fear and do it anyways
- Its ok to feel uncomfortable, it means I am trying something new.
- Not taking action doesn’t keep me safe, it keeps me stuck.
RESOURCES:
Final thoughts:
I would love to tell you that I am invincible to self- doubt or limiting beliefs, but I am not.
I am constantly leveling up as a business owner and life coach.
I have mastered the art of being ok with fear.
I see fear as a sign that I am changing and leveling up.
Fear doesn’t have to mean something bad.
You can make it mean whatever you want and get comfortable feeling it!
This is one of the many focuses in Desire More.
Creating intentional thoughts and feelings that drive positive results.
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