Self confidence: 8 habits I wish women knew
Self confidence is determined by how much you doubt yourself.
Doubting yourself is feeling fear in your ability to do something.
If you believe in your ability to overcome obstacles you will have high self confidence.
When you determine your worth based on external means your self confidence will suffer
Why?
Its ingrained in your brain to look outside of yourself for signs that you are ok.
Its a survival response to check your surroundings and understand cues from others to determine if you are in any danger.
When you are always looking to others to tell you how you should feel about yourself then you never get the chance to decide how YOU feel about you!
Self confidence isn’t about clothing, looks or weight.
Self confidence is a thought pattern you keep repeating.
Improve your self confidence is a matter of changing the quality of thoughts you have about yourself!
8 tips to be a more confident woman
Accept Yourself
Obvious, but not easy.
Start living for yourself and what makes you happy.
Let others figure out how to fit into your life instead of trying to fit a version of yourself into theirs.
When you love and accept yourself, you naturally have great morals and values.
This isn’t the case when your worth is hung up on what others think of you. You may find yourself compromising values for likability.
When you love yourself, you attract better quality people who also love themselves.
If you make a mistake forgive yourself fast and turn the focus to how to do better next time instead of self-loathing.
Care about your opinion more than others.
Ask yourself if the person or reason you aren’t liked matters to your ability to survive and if not move on knowing that their grievance is their problem.
Become Aware of Approval Seeking Behavior
Notice your approval seeking behavior.
Do you scramble for the right things to say or do in the presence of others?
Take note of the feeling you get when you are trying to get others to react to you in a positive manner.
Allow yourself to let go of the need to always say or do the right thing and instead let there be silence and stillness where there use to be desperation.
Figure Out Who You Are
Sit with yourself and decide who you want to be.
What you want to feel. And the life you want to have.
Then don’t waver from her.
Keep you values, goals and desires in mind when in the presence of others and commit to not deviating to make others and sometimes yourself more comfortable.
It could be very uncomfortable for you at first but keep at it and you’ll begin to truly love the woman who shows up.
Don’t Be Afraid to Disagree.
We can be fooled into believing that it is easier to go along with what others are saying and doing to gain acceptance.
But you trade your authenticity for it and most people can sense this.
Not to mention you’ll eventually hate yourself.
The right people will be fascinated by you when you stand up for what you believe in and are different than the others.
I’m not saying go around and disagree whenever you can, to feign confidence.
No. You must use discernment.
When you feel yourself being asked to go along with something you feel isn’t right, this is where you stay true to yourself and unafraid to politely agree to disagree.
Avoid Gossip
Recognize that gossiping is a projection of insecurity, fear and lack of self-love.
Something deeper is happening here than just entertainment.
If you find yourself gossiping dig deeper and turn the judgment inward.
People enjoy gossip because it makes them feel better about their own lives.
It allows them an opportunity to feel superior because deep down they do not like something about themselves or their life.
Stop Being a Know It All
Pretending to know it all is just overcompensating for an insecurity to gain approval from others.
No one truly knows it all and acting as such won’t work with tools like google around to fact check your every word.
People can’t pretend to know it all like they could before the internet. They’ll either look like a fool or a liar.
No one is going to cast you out the “village” because you don’t have all the answers.
Don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong or when you don’t know something.
Invoke the inner village idiot without fear hehe. I kid.
But seriously when we are humble, admit when we are wrong and are open to learning we become much smarter and wiser than when we believe we already know it all.
So, if being smart is a value of yours, be humble and you will learn more.
When we think we already know it all we cannot learn anything new.
You do not need others to recognize your brilliance, for you to be brilliant.
Only Value 3 Opinions
When you only have a few opinions to care about, life becomes much easier.
Your actions and goals reflect these 3 opinions and its quick and easy to see if your actions line up with your values.
As opposed to an entire office, family or friend group.
So, pick the most important people in your life and whose opinions you care about and roll your eyes at the rest.
Make sure one of these is your own.
Take the other opinions into account, but at the end of the day do not rest your entire identity or self-worth on anyone but yourself.
These people are important, but they don’t know what’s best for you.
Hear what they have to say but understand at some point there will be an agree to disagree moment and that’s ok.
Overthinking, plotting or the hating someone who rejects you takes a lot of time, energy and mental space to carry on about.
You can spend years ruminating over rejection or you can release it because it’s no longer needed.
Know that others judgments are a reflection of them, not you
If you didn’t care what others thought yesterday, then don’t care today either.
If you did care yesterday, then learn to accept and love yourself more than you care about their opinions.
Remember they are still living from a place of fear when they judge you.
You do not need to be angry towards someone who disapproves of you.
Instead, love yourself and others.
Find compassion and love for those who judge you because they are still suffering.
They still think they might die if they themselves are rejected, so they reject you for being different instead of embracing themselves and getting closer to their purpose.
When you accept yourself, you don’t need others to accept you.
When you no longer need acceptance from others you are free to become who you are meant to be.
When you become who you are meant to be you get closer to love, joy and your purpose.
This sounds much better than living your life in a state of fear, panic and insecurity of rejection.
Final thoughts:
If you are staying true to your values and morals, then feel nothing but happiness and achievement when someone rejects you.
There is no reason anymore to care about what others think.
There is no consequence for their judgement for anyone but themselves.
They are keeping the fear of rejection alive within them and they are choosing to believe they need acceptance.
You now know better than that and are working to release this unnecessary response.
Remember that no one knows who you truly are but you.
People can only judge their perception of you. And this perception reflects their fears, insecurities and lack of self-love.
Next Steps:
