One Practice for a Higher Self-Love

Please do not read this if you are not part of the club.

Seriously stop now…

You’ve been warned.

What you are about to read will change the way you look at life.

This is a members only secret…

So, be honest with yourself.

Are you part of the self love club?

If you answered yes, then yay for you rock star! Keep reading!! You are about to take your self love to the next level!

What I’m about to say may appear like common sense at first.

Look closer…

If it were common and we were actually doing it, we wouldn’t be struggling as much as we are.

The way I see it, self love is so much more than getting your nails done and canceling plans.

We live in a time where so many people have anxiety, depression and are just plain struggling. People are reaching for anything that will bring them happiness. From alcohol and eating, or not eating for that matter, to getting tattoos.

We all have our own brand of happiness, that we reach for to make ourselves feel better

All too often we hop aboard the self love and self care train and wake up on the self hate and regret train. What did we miss? How do we go from doing things that seem like fun or feel great to hating ourselves for it later?

Most of us have been there. We’ve gone out drinking to have the time of our lives, only to wake up hungover and late for work. Others will just have one cookie that always turns into five. We have seen over and over people get a super meaningful tattoo in 2002, that they outgrow by 2010.

We want it and we want it now, until we don’t.

This kind of short term planning keeps us on a loop of feeling negative about ourselves and our capabilities. Why are the choices that we make in an effort to bring us happiness, actually making us more miserable?

If you find yourself on these endless loops of “feel good choices” that you find yourself more miserable from, then keep reading.

There is nothing wrong with making feel good choices, but true self love is so much deeper.

Loving yourself is a commitment you make every day. It is a choice only you have 100% control over.

So how can you choose to love yourself in a way that feels good long term?

The obvious answer would be to do healthy, productive things and stay away from the things that could be negative. But let’s go a little deeper. If it were that easy there wouldn’t be drug addicts, alcoholics, toxic relationships or obesity. So how do you make good choices that will enable you to live your best life authentically?

Everything you do costs something.

It is up to you what you want to trade for it. You are constantly exchanging your love, time, money, health and happiness for things you think will bring you more love, time, money, health and happiness.

When you start thinking in terms of “what will this cost me?” Instead of only thinking “what can I gain from this?” Only then can you create a life you can feel good about.

You create true self love when you look at both sides of the coin. The risk and the benefit.

If the benefit outweighs the cost, then sure do it! If you haven’t seen your high school best friend in 10 years and miss the bonding and conversations that came with a night out drinking between the two of you, then sure the hangover will be totally worth it because the experiences you will create together are positive.

This is a choice you can feel good about forever rather than just while you’re doing it.

If you’re going out for the fifth time drinking this week out of habit, then trading your time, money and health will not bring you the happiness you’re seeking.

If you’re taking a bath when you should be sending emails because you’re stressed out then you know what those emails will feel 100% more grounded once you take care of yourself.

If you’re taking a bath after you’ve binged on Netflix for three hours when you have work emails piling up, then this decision will not feel good long term. You’ll be up until 4am stressing out when you should be sleeping and a domino effect will happen and bleed into the next day.

Remember to look at both the cost and the benefit next time you do something in the name of self love.

It‘s human nature to want love what we are doing and desire to feel good doing it!

This is the secret sauce that will get you back on track. This practice can give you back your routines, confidence and put you back on a positive path. The path that will lead you to the things you truly desire in life; great relationships, wonderful job, beautiful friendships, improve your health and so much more!

An easy mantra to remind yourself of daily is in the clever title of this post!

Ask yourself daily, “is this the highest self love I can give myself?”

If you weren’t part of the self love club before and read this anyways then good for you ya rebel!

XOXO

How about you? Leave a comment below and share your self love wisdom with us or click on a social media icon to share this post and spread the love with your friends!