Ho’oponopono

Yes, you read that right!

No, it is not a spelling error or a made-up word I used to get your attention.

 Did it work though? hehe

It is one of my favorite techniques to use and to teach others when they are feeling stuck in old patterns, toxic thoughts and any sort of negativity.

So, what is it exactly?

It is a forgiveness practice that reminds you that in any conflict all parties involved are at fault in some way.

Ok. I know what you’re thinking.

“Bullshit I’m not responsible for someone else’s behavior.“

Preach!

I feel you. I swear.  

Maybe if I told you the origin of Ho’oponopono you will understand the value it can provide.

This practice comes from one of the most spiritual and beautiful places in North America.

It is an ancient cultural healing practice in Hawaii!!

What’s cooler than Hawaii?

I don’t know about you, but I’d pack up my house up today for a chance to submerge myself in that landscape and culture.

The Hawaiian people are so wise. They have known for centuries how stress, grudges and anger can wreak havoc on a person’s health; mentally, spiritually, physically. It seems this connection is only recently becoming a topic for the urban world. The obsession with self-care as a byproduct of this awareness.

The first requirement of ho’oponopono is that an elder in the community is placed in charge of facilitating the reconciliation of the the two (or more) people who are in conflict with one another. The elders are tasked with bringing theses people together, overseeing that ho’oponopono is successful and ensuring that balance is regained.

Unfortunately, in modern societies we do not usually utilize the wisdom of our elders, but thankfully you do not need anyone but yourself for this practice!

All you need is a few minutes of peace and quiet, or if you meditate the you will use a portion of that time to devote to this healing practice.

The biggest concern and most important concept to grasp with Ho’oponopono is that you understand only you yourself have the power to move on from a conflict. You must forgive yourself and others in order to regain harmony and balance. It is also important that you take responsibility for whatever manifests into your reality. You are the only one in control of your reality.

This theory is similar to manifesting.

For example: You believe your husband is always angry and yelling. You may think how could this possibly be my fault? Your fault is in your thinking. The problem is you believe your husband is always angry and yelling, thus your mind bends your reality to support this belief. Think a thought, reflecting the opposite and watch your life change!

In this scenario you would forgive your husband for not controlling himself and then forgive yourself for having allowed this experience to manifest in the first place.

Whether or not your husband decides to change is not the focus. The focus is getting you to move forward in a healthy manner. Recognizing that you have control over your reality once you take accountability for it.

Playing the victim keeps you playing small. It hides your power and prevents you from making positive changes in yourself and in your life. Staying in the victim mentality makes you feel weak and at the mercy of others. Ho’oponopono helps you to shift from powerless to powerful.

There are always alternative ways to think about any given situation. You might as well choose one that feels good and manifests good.

Another example I see often is people thinking “I’m not good enough.”

The sooner you take accountability for your entire life and decide to forgive what pains you, the sooner you will be released from your past.

You will get back on track to the life, love, feeling and experience the universe wants to give you. If you hold onto this stuff you are blocking yourself from the blessings you deserve.

Now that the theory has been explained let’s move on with the practice itself and the specific steps required.

The four-step process:

• Say I’m sorry- “I’m sorry (Self/Other person)”

Apologize to yourself and/or the other person involved. Doing this in your mind is equal to in person. Sometimes depending on what the context is for the necessary apology it isn’t appropriate or may even be dangerous to do this in person.

You are responsible for your thoughts and the circumstances they create. It is your responsibility to heal. This is not as harsh as it sounds. Forgiveness, accountability and healing are wonderful gifts to give yourself. They will help you get back in the driver’s seat of your life. Even in the worst of situations we can take accountability somewhere. This is often the same thing we are blaming ourselves for or angry about most. Forgive this.

It’s human nature to feel sorry. We don’t create tornadoes, but we feel sorry for those who lose their lives and homes to them.

You may resist at first to take full responsibility for the things in your life but keep at it because the reward is well worth the battle. What do you have to lose?

More often then not it’s ourselves we need to forgive.

It is only a trick that you think your anger is with the other person. This is how the “devil” works. We tend to forgive others effortlessly or overtime naturally. However, we hold ourselves prisoner to the incident because we cannot believe we allowed ourselves to trust, make a mistake, misjudge someones character, or get ourselves into a bad situation

Apologize to yourself whenever you feel angry towards the other person in the conflict. You will eventually feel relief and move on.

• Ask for forgiveness “Please forgive me (Self/Other person)”

Say this as many times as necessary until you feel relief! Don’t focus on who you are asking at this point just ask. Feel the pain, stress and anxiety you’re holding onto and forgive yourself for doing this to your body. Forgive yourself for thinking yourself into a mental hole. Forgive yourself for your reactions while under attack from these thoughts.

Chances are you’re making more mistakes by letting this incident control you than you would if you just forgave yourself and the incident.

• Say thank you!

Again, it doesn’t matter who you are talking to. Thank your body for all it does for you. Thank yourself for being the best you can be. Thank God. Thank the Universe. Thank whatever it was that just forgave you. Just keep saying THANK YOU.

Know that you have given this situation to god, or the Universe or whatever you believe and remind yourself you have given the incident to god every time your mind tries to bring you back there.

• Last, say I love you!

Say I LOVE YOU! Say it to yourself. Say it to whoever, just mean it and feel it. Say it to your body, say it to God. Say I LOVE YOU to the air you breathe, to the house that shelters you. Say I LOVE YOU to your challenges for steering you to the right path. Say it over and over. Mean it. Feel it. There is nothing as powerful as Love. Love is the cure. It is the answer.

This marks the end of the Ho’oponopono teaching and hopefully the beginning of a new way of moving through your life. A life with less of what brings you down and more of what lights you up.

Namaste beautiful loving humans.