Self Love is Hard! Here’s 8 Ways To Love Yourself Better
Self love is all the buzz lately, but what does it even mean to love yourself?
“You have to love yourself more.”
“Why don’t you love yourself?”
“If you only loved yourself, this wouldn’t have happened to you.”
“You can’t love another person until you love yourself first.”
Any of this sound familiar to you? Maybe you have said it to others or they say it to you.
Easier said than done right?
So here is how to stop talking about self love and start doing it.
Self love is not…
- Eating sugar
- Spa day
- Taking a bath
- Going shopping
- Sacrificing your goals for instant gratification
Self-love is not about feeling good all of the time.
It is appreciating yourself for taking inspired actions towards your goals and desires. Its doing the hard things today so you can become the best version of yourself tomorrow, so that you can feel proud.
Self-love grows with us through our actions. Our actions create more self love and confidence or they create the opposite.
When we act in ways that improve our self-love, we begin to accept and feel compassion for ourselves. Let go of competing and explaining. We feel strong in our values and abilities, therefore are more centered in fining our purpose.
Most importantly, we find fulfillment through our ourselves and not the efforts or existence of others
7-Steps for the best Self-Love
1. Be mindful.
Find out your personal values and desires and work toward them. Don’t get caught up in your parents, friends, families or societies expectations. Get familiar with your intuition and follow it.
2. Stay focused on what you NEED, not what you want
Most times self love isn’t flowery and relaxing, its usually doing the hard things that no one else wants to, like…
- Staying in
- Building healthy habits
- Exercise
- Saving your money
- Quitting addictions
By staying focused on what you need, you avoid doing things that will bring you guilt, grief and bad decisions.
It may not feel fun in the moment but it comes with a big reward when you reach those goals in the future that other people gave up on along the way.
Making decisions for your future self and getting out of behaviors of repeating the past are big self love vibes.
3. Practice good self-care.
In order to accomplish those big goals you need to take care of the little ones too, like self care. Taking care of your basic needs allows you to become the person you need to become to achieve your goals. Loving yourself means you have healthy habits and routines, like healthy activities, nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, connection and healthy social interactions.
4. Set boundaries.
Check in with yourself often and make sure you are living in your truth with your career, relationships, conversations and habits. Learn how to speak up for yourself or say no to people or things that don’t serve you.
5. Check yourself
Don’t forget to set boundaries with yourself too. Nip limiting beliefs in the bud and watch out for negative self talk. It is just as important to be aware of our own toxic thoughts and habits.
6. Forgive yourself
We forgive others way easier than we forgive ourselves. Most times we don’t even consider forgiving ourselves. Punishing yourself is useless.
If you made a mistake and have remedied that mistake the best you can, its time to move on and forgive yourself.
It doesn’t serve anyone to keep beating yourself up. In fact you will probably hurt more people this way. Life is a learning process allow yourself some room to grow.
Accept that you’re a human and you’re going to keep making mistakes. Life wont stop for you because you feel sad or victimized. Process and keep moving, just as nature does.
Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember this acronym for First Attempt In Learning (FAIL).
7. Live intentionally
You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and design.
You don’t need to know your purpose exactly, just live like you mean it and try. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.
You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. Establish your intentions for life and stick to them even when the going gets tough.
8. Hire A Life Coach
A life coach is the best investment I ever made. I went from surviving, anxious and depressed to vibrant, clear and successful with life coaching.
You can too! The world is changing. Its expecting more from you now. It is time to step into your purpose, love and power.
All this and more can be done in my 1:1 coaching.
To learn more visit my 1:1 life coaching program here!
Final note:
Even if you just pick one of these self love actions to do, you will gain massive amounts of self love. Build up to all 7 over time, there’s no rush. Te fact that you’re trying to better yourself means you’re exactly where you need to be.
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