High value men (like all men) want sex, but that’s not the way to his heart.

This is why dating was a total nightmare for me. 

I wasted so much time on my appearance, for men who had no intention of dating me.

I would put my life on the back burner to be available. 

Granted I was picky, but I was also determined. 

I was looking for my dream guy, or what I call, a high value man. 

Unlike an Alpha, a high value man understands that chasing one-night stands is a waste of his resources and a distraction to his purpose. 

Instead, a high value man stays single until he meets a woman who benefits his life and shares his vision for the future. 

He protects and pushes himself and her to be the best. 

He is financially stable and in pursuit of a high value woman to share it all with. 

Good men are difficult to find, and even harder to keep. 

Not for lack of trying though. 

I’d work all day and spend my lunch breaks running errands so that after work I could squeeze in a workout and rush home to get ready.

I rushed around, hoping every date would be my last.  

Only to find myself sitting across from a 35-year-old, still living with his “ex-wife.“ or worse…roommates. 

Men were taking up too much of my time. 

And while I really wanted to settle down with a high value man, I had other priorities like my: 

• Side business 
• Fitness 
• Home life 
• Social life  

It seemed like no matter what I did, high value men were not interested.  

That’s when I realized a hard truth. 

I wasn’t attracting a high value man for a reason. 

The reality was that I was just like every other woman.  

I talked about the same topics, behaved the same way, wore the same clothes, and wanted the same things. 

To high value men, I wasn’t special.

These men worked hard on themselves and their lives to get where they were at.

They wanted to find a woman who improved life, not drained it. 

They were intentional about dating because they had a lot to lose.

Eventually, I realized that I would have to become high value if I wanted high value. 

I learned to adopt a whole new lifestyle.

I went from going out most nights, to staying in.

Nothing would change, unless I did.

I’d just keep attracting the same type of men if I went out behaving and thinking the same way.

The more I improved myself the easier dating became.

By teaching myself high value behaviors, I learned how to spot high value men and avoid losers.

This in turn made me high value.  

I was surprised to find out, high value men weren’t concerned with how much money I made, my education, how many friends I had, where I had traveled to, what car I drove or the clothes I wore.

High value men want high value women.

The problem was I had no idea what high value men wanted, until I started doing this…

6 ways to attract a high value man. 

He craves femininity

Masculine men don’t want to be chased.

I thought putting myself out there and dating a lot would increase my odds at finding a man.

In reality, I was giving my time and energy away cheaply and trying to force outcomes.

I was repelling masculine men and attracting losers.

Women chasing men doesn’t work.

It required me to focus on impressing a man when I should had been deciding if I was impressed by him.

When I was focused on trying to figure out or impress my date I got trapped in their minds and think about their wants, while abandoning my own.

Even when I thought I was playing it cool while chasing a guy, men picked up on my desperation and used it to get sex.

He wants you to have healthy habits 

A high value partner isn’t something everyone deserves if they haven’t put in the work.

The same logic applies to having a Lambo or being fit.

If I don’t have what I want in life, it’s because I haven’t worked for it.

I wanted the best in life but I wasn’t putting in the effort to be the best.

I would complain that there were no good men out there. The truth is there are a ton of high value men that are looking for high value women.

It was the small things that kept me from being high value.

Throwing my clothes on the ground after work, having a dirty car, sleeping in, eating unhealthy, closing down bars, hanging out with guys a lot, skipping workouts. 

My habits created a mentality and lifestyle that high value men weren’t attracted to, or a part of.

I wasn’t attracting high value men because I wasn’t willing to change what was low value about myself.

I believed that I automatically deserved the best, when I wasn’t my best yet.

I wasn’t ready for a high value relationship, and high value men saw my tendencies as red flags.

He wants to grow together

A high value man needs a relationship he can grow in.

He can’t maintain his success when he is constantly trying to convince me to think bigger.

Relationships (and life) are hard enough as it is. It makes life even harder to hang around closed minded, argumentative people.

Being argumentative indicates a fixed or non-growth mindset.

When I’m fixed in my beliefs, I am defensive towards new beliefs.

Growth can only happen when I allow myself to try new things and feel discomfort.

The difference between relationships and high value relationships is that in high value relationships the couple knows how to take arguments and turn them into collaborations to create stronger ideas together.

High value men and women know that two minds are better than one.

He’s excited by mystery

Men don’t want to know my life story up front because when they first meet me the goal is sex.

It takes time for a man to care about a woman enough to want to know her past and opinions.

Doing it too soon and gives him a cheat sheet into my pants.

Telling a man about myself prior to him having a bond with me allows him to figure out what I want to hear.

A man’s brain naturally wants to solve problems.

I stopped making the chase easy by solving their problem for them and giving them all the answers to figure me out.

Telling him less about myself allowed for me to observe more about him.

Doing this made men put in effort in to get to know me.

This kept their mind occupied with figuring out, but it also allowed for the necessary time it takes to really get to know me and begin to like me.

Meanwhile I could figure out if I even liked him when he wasn’t snoozing me with what I wanted to hear.

Without a bond in place, he could pretend to meet my expectations for a few days or weeks, have sex with me and be done.   

He rewards loyalty

Loyalty is demonstrated by how I follow through with myself first. If I can’t show up for myself in a powerful way, how will I do it for someone else.

A high value man will see my capacity for loyalty in my actions towards myself.

He will pick up on how loyal I am to myself, way before I get the chance to be disloyal to him.

For instance, when I set goals and don’t follow through, when I don’t do what I say, or when I give up too soon.

He will see it when I put myself in conversations or situations that allow others to direct or manipulate the situation to their advantage.

This shows him what how strong my boundaries are and if I have a tendency to do what’s easy instead of what’s right.

A high value man wants to see that I have strong morals and boundaries in place to protect myself when he isn’t around and our relationship.

This shows him I am strong enough to handle the odds that will be stacked against us in the future.

High value men are visual

Attracting a man attention in today’s world means competing with plastic surgery and spending time and money on your appearance.

I didn’t want attention, I wanted commitment from a high value man.

A high value man will chase what he sees, but fall in love with who I am.

High value men didn’t care if I had supermodel looks, but they do expect me to be attractive.

He’s worked on his strength, mind and finances his whole life.

This is why high value men are so irresistible.

It’s only right that he feel the same attraction towards m

That required a lot of time.

I was maxed out of time.

The good news was that I wanted to be more than a one nightstand.

I needed to focus on my appearance and still have time to improve in other areas.

This meant I needed to maintain my beauty easier and faster than before.

I found the solution in my shower routine.

I was doing so many things in the shower that were damaging and aging me appearance.

When I started this new shower routine, I noticed how much more youthful I looked.

I finally realized how much time and money I was wasting on treatments and products.

I felt confident in my appearance and loved how even and dewy my skin looked without makeup.

Even my hair looked sleek and nourished. The frizz and dead ends had vanished.

Best of all my dates loved that I wasn’t all covered in makeup and fake hair.

Final Thoughts: 

I once thought that to get a high value man, I had to look perfect.

After wasting years and a lot of money I learned that no matter how perfect I looked, high value men would still pass on me.

Investing too much time into my appearance was keeping me from attracting high value men.

And while looks were important, perfection was not.

I was relieved to find out that high value men didn’t expect me to be a 10.

And while it helped to grab their attention, the woman they were looking for was more subtle in her looks and beauty.

I had to keep their attention by showing I was high value in a feminine way.

Focusing on improving natural beauty gave me an edge on other women.

Now I had time to improve myself and my future to position myself as high value and attract high quality men effortlessly.